PerpFail

Stealing a Go-Kart FAIL

Kai — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 16:32:31 +0000

Calling in 911 after robbing a bank? FAIL.

Kai — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 21:04:37 +0000

Authorities in coastal Florida say a man called 911 to turn himself in about 20 minutes after robbing a Port Orange bank.

Police say 42-year-old Tony Max Olea walked into the Colonial Bank branch Tuesday morning and handed the teller a note implying that he had a gun and wanted money. Police say the teller gave the man money, along with a dye pack, which reportedly went off.

A short time later, Olea called authorities from a gas station parking lot to turn himself in. He was charged with a single count of robbery and was being held on $20,000 bail. Jail officials said they did not know if he has an attorney.

Checking Your Facebook in Middle of Burglary? FAIL.

Kai — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 23:55:52 +0000

MARTINSBURG – The popular online social networking site Facebook helped lead to an alleged burglar’s arrest after he stopped check his account on the victim’s computer, but forgot to log out before leaving the home with two diamond rings.

J. Parker, 19, of Fort Loudoun, Pa., was arraigned Tuesday one count of felony daytime burglary.

According to court records, Deputy P.D. Ware of the Berkeley County Sheriff’s Department responded on Aug. 28 to the victim’s home after she reported the burglary.

She told police that someone had broken into her home through a bedroom window.

There were open cabinets in her garage, and other signs of a burglar.

The victim later noticed that the intruder also used her computer to check his Facebook status, and his account was still open when she checked the computer.

The victim later noticed that she was missing two diamond rings from her dresser in the same room as her computer.

The two rings were worth more than $3,500, reports indicate.

During the investigation, a friend of the victim told her that he knew where Parker was staying, in the same area as the victim’s house.

FAIL.

Would-be Ninja Burglers: Wearing Neon Defeats the Purpose of Burglering Under Cover of Darkness

Kai — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 04:33:10 +0000

A dimwit Northern Ireland man wore a fluorescent builders’ bib while attempting to rob houses under the cover of darkness.

Bungling would-be thief SH was spotted by neighbours who called the cops as he tried to break into houses in Dunlady Manor in Dundonald.

Hapless SH’s 4:30am crime spree came to an end when he was tracked down by officers with the help of a police dog to a nearby supermarket car park.

At Downpatrick Crown last week Judge Peter Gibson labelled Hamilton’s crimes as “amateurish in the extreme” as he gave him a 15-month jail sentence, suspended for three years.

Memo: Use Cordless Drills When Stealing Giant Peppers

Kai — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 05:21:45 +0000

Four people were arrested on Sunday after attempting to steal a giant chili pepper from atop a Chili’s Grill and Bar in Vermont.

Triggered by an alarm, cops arrived at the Chili’s in Bennington, Vt., around 4:30 a.m. on Sunday to find AW, 23, on the roof. He had been removing the bolts that held the red and green chili pepper in place with a hacksaw and a power drill.

Police found 470 feet of extension cord running from a nearby Home Depot, across a highway and up to the roof to power the electric drill. Apparently, the heist’s mastermind failed to realize they make cordless drills.

FAIL.

Drugs for Gasoline

Kai — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 22:33:10 +0000

Frederick County sheriff‘s deputies have arrested a man after he allegedly offered store clerks in New Market marijuana to pay for gasoline, Monday at 3 p.m. at the Classic Fuels Store on Old National Pike. Deputies said a 52-year-old man offered marijuana to pay for gasoline, and a clerk in the store called authorities.

The man and his motorcycle were searched, and deputies said they found suspected cocaine, Oxycodone pills and suspected marijuana.

The man was charged with possession of cocaine, marijuana and drug paraphernalia. FAIL.

Taxi! Take Me to my Next Robbery!

Kai — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 16:00:34 +0000

A New Jersey man who told a cab driver to stop at a bank so he could take out some money failed to mention that he was going to rob it. Michael Restaino Jr. was arrested shortly afterward Monday when a police officer stopped the cab he was riding in several blocks from the Roselle Savings Bank. Police say the taxi driver was apparently unaware of what his passenger had done.

Parolees: Do Not Brag About Your Vacation on Facebook

Kai — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 18:04:18 +0000

A hit-and-run death crash driver could be returned to jail after bragging on Facebook about his holiday in Ibiza while out of prison on licence.

Jamie Filan was imprisoned for a total of five years in 2007 after accidentally running over and killing dental nurse Michelle Dever in Lancing.

The Argus can today reveal he was released in June and is boasting to pals on the internet about his holiday on the hedonistic Spanish island.

Probation Service officials are looking into whether he has breached the conditions of his licence, which restrict him to travel within the UK.

If he has, he could be taken back to prison to complete the rest of his sentence.

Wile E. Coyote Moment

Kai — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 21:27:17 +0000

London police say the driver in a stolen car involved in an accident shortly after 2 a.m. yesterday jumped from the car and fled on foot — smack into a telephone pole.
The suspect, Const. Amy Phillipo said, “got up and tried to run again but was arrested.”

Phillipo said a police officer westbound on Riverside Dr. passed a suspicious eastbound vehicle and turned around to follow it. But before the officer caught up to the car, it was involved in a two-car crash at the corner of Riverside and Beaverbrook Ave.

Offering Officer a Hit

Kai — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 12:15:04 +0000

Police cited two Fox Cities men for possession of drug paraphernalia and warned a third for obstructing an officer at a boat club corn roast at Scott Park Friday night.

The officer walked through a cloud of smoke, smelled the odor of marijuana and confronted a 50-year-old Menasha man and a 52-year-old Appleton man. The men, not realizing he was an officer, offered him the lit pipe, said Chief James Reed.